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After Getting Its Butt Kicked By Verizon, AT&T Will Re-Brand Itself

AT&T logic is that if you’re getting eviscerated for your shitty service and the only reason people are coming to and sticking with that shitty service is for a single phone (that’s rumored to be heading to your competitor) then obviously the solution is to:

Fix the shitty service.

Wait. No, that won’t do at all. That’s just crazy talk. What I meant was:

Ask people to pay $150 plus $20 a month to get the service and coverage they were sold on.

Get a new logo and tagline.

That’s the ticket! We’re different now! Don’t you see the new slogan! Rethink Possible! [Note: As long as that “possible” isn’t “possibly making phone calls in LA, New York, or San Francisco.”]

Now these efforts will obviously be expensive and require whole new ad campaigns, but if AT&T knows how to do one thing well, it’s spending millions of dollars on expensive ad campaigns (whose message is essentially “Uh..uh…look over there!”) instead of fixing their shitty, shitty, oh-god-why-does-this-suck-so-badly service.

Side note: my favorite line from the article was from Senior VP-Brand Marketing and Advertising Esther Lee:

[it’s time to] get past the competitive conversation and talk about what’s in it for the consumers.

Nice double-speak there: Yes, let’s please stop talking about competition, so we can talk about what our consumer competitive advantage is. *eyeroll*